DRINKS FOR HIM
So you've read about drinks for her, now it's all about him. If women are going to take the equal place in society that they demand these days, they're going to have to offer to buy a man a drink… Here's WhichOption's own guide to what kind of personality traits a bloke has, depending on what drink he wants.
If he wants:
BEER
Personality: One of the lads. Likes to watch sport, break wind, and scratch his gnads. Thinks women should be in the kitchen cooking the dinner.
Approach: Belch in his face and offer to clean his house - he's all yours.
COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Likes to think he's trendy. His jeans will be hanging off his arse and his trainers will be scruffy.
Approach: Talk music or films - any form of culture should stimulate conversation. Beware, he may still live with his mum and masturbate five times a day.
MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS, GIN & TONIC / SCOTCH & SODA ETC
Personality: A refined gentleman - probably reads a broadsheet and polishes his shoes.
Approach: Remember yours P's and Q's, and mention how you think the new Conservative leader reminds you of your brother.
WATER
Personality: Probably a reformed alcoholic. He used to drink pints of whisky, but now he's off the booze and he shakes like a shitting dog.
Approach: Pretend to sympathise with him, all the while sipping on your neat vodka that looks just like water. He will be dull, so you'll need it.
WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Likes to wear tight t-shirts and has a very limp wrist - probably gay.
Approach: At least you'll be able to talk about boys and shopping while you wait for a real man to appear.
BACARDI BREEZER, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE ETC.
Personality: Definitely a chav - he'll be the one wearing a Burberry cap (slightly perched to the side of course) and ending every sentence with 'Innit".
Approach: Talk like you're one of them - "Am I bovered?" "Whatever, minger" - and you'll be on the dole, smoking weed and swearing at everybody in no time.
CAPE VELVET
Personality: Nutcase, most likely on drugs.
Approach: Smash the glass over his head, kick him in the nuts and make sure he can't follow you. Quietly leave the building.
SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Party animal - has tattoos and likes pain.
Approach: Challenge him to a shot race and before you know it, you'll be licking flaming Sambuca's from his left armpit.
Have you tried drinks for her?
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The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination. 
